This past week has been really incredible.

Cathy has gotten up at 8 AM, fixed her breakfast and trotted off to work, all on her own.  The house has been unnaturally quiet and the dogs and I find ourselves napping quite a bit until Cathy comes home from work.  Then she takes a nap for about 2 hours.  She’s even eating full meals at dinner.

Our day-to-day life is getting back into it’s previous habits.

However, it will never be the same.  Our perspectives have been altered.  Our priorities sharpened and our lives, more focused.  The challenges now are how to take these new lessons we’ve been given and to incorporate them into a world view that brings us more joy and meaning.  We have come to take nothing and no one for granted anymore.  It’s scary and liberating at the same time.

Cathy and I can’t even begin to articulate what your support has meant to us along this journey’s path.  My hope is that you all have come away with a new sense, too, about life and what is important.  The kind gesture, encouraging comments and spirit of your love has enveloped us at the precise time when we needed it the most.  We are eternally grateful for each and every one of you.

As Cathy continues to heal and gain strength, perhaps the messages on this blog aren’t as urgent.  Some people have expressed regret that Cathy’s wholeness will mean the end of it.  BUT! We don’t have to wind it down or leave it behind.  We can continue on with it.  As administrator, I can change some of the features and the design of the graphics.  As long as you all are willing to participate, this blog can morph into whatever it will be.  I propose keeping it going.  What do you all think?

I know I promised you new pix today but it flew by and there was no time left in the day.  We got to Hopkins early to get blood drawn and an IV bag hooked up before we headed over to have the experts adjust Cathy’s feeding tube.  Somehow the appointments never got entered into the system so we ended up waiting 2 1/2 hours for the blood work.  (I managed to fall asleep and wake myself up with my own very loud snoring, much to the amusement of the others in the waiting area)

Instead of fixing Cathy’s tube, they actually took it out!  Seems that the stomach had healed over the opening from the inside and they couldn’t install a new one because Cathy had eaten breakfast and that prevented sedation for any surgery.  They are testing her for a week to see if she can get enough nourishment to keep herself from losing weight.  If she does, no tube.  If she loses more weight, she gets a new tube.

We have to head back up to Hopkins on Wednesday for red blood cell transfusions.  She’s pretty weak and feels poorly and this will help.  So, today feels like a baby step forward as long as she can keep swallowing food.

Today was a good day.  Cathy had all 3 meals by mouth!  And, she even supplemented those with other fluids.  She tells me that the sores in her mouth are bearable, especially when she drinks cold liquids.  I’m so proud of her for pushing herself because I know how hard it was for her to even think about it, let alone doing it.

On Monday we head up to Johns Hopkins for blood work, hydration and an adjustment to her stomach tube.  The latter being if she needs to continue to use it to feed herself, just in case.  She’s lost close to 30 pounds, so the tube doesn’t quite fit the way it did when they first inserted it.  Her stomach is much smaller and we have to really work at shifting it around to get the liquids to flow.

But, hopefully, that will all be in the past.

The recovery period is very slow.  Patience is a virtue and a challenge.  We’re making our way back up the hill.

I promise to post some new pix tomorrow.

It’s hard not to feel down after the holidays under normal circumstances.  But, under the circumstances that Cathy and I find ourselves in this year, it is inevitable.  Of course, our expectations were lowered this year because we just don’t have the energy to decorate, write cards or fix yummy meals (especially since Cathy isn’t eating solid food).  The best part of Christmas was a visit with Helen Miller (my mother) and my sister, Kat.  They always make the room brighter when they are in it.

We are both working hard at being patient with the healing that Cathy needs to do.  Fortunately, she has a great health care insurance policy which gives her visits to the acupuncturist.  I’m hoping she can see him every day this week.

Christmas has traditionally been a time when we reach out to our loved ones through phone calls, cards, visits, etc.  And, so many of you have reached out to us this year in the face of Cathy’s illness.  The love, warmth and energy you have sent our way has meant so much to us.  Many days we have felt overwhelmed with the emotions of it.  I hope each and every one of you can feel the cosmic hugs we are sending.

It snowed close to 21 inches in Washington, D.C. yesterday!  It provided a great excuse to stay indoors by the fire or in bed.  Cathy is taking it easy and trying to get on the road to healing.  She’s incredibly bored and has read everything in the house.  I’m not very much help because I’ve been in bed with a virus all weekend.  Someone else has to do the nursing chores.  The dogs aren’t much use, but the neighbors did shovel the walkway!

Here’s hoping everyone had a relaxing weekend!

Cathy is much the same today as she was yesterday.  She spent most of the day sleeping.  (I joined her for about 2 hours in the afternoon).

Cathy’s nurse had me take her blood pressure which seems okay.  She asked me all sorts of questions but together we couldn’t come up with an ‘aha’ moment so we will have to wait to see the results from Tuesday’s blood tests before we get some answers.

It is a typical wintery day:  cold, gray skies and raining.  I am grateful it isn’t snowing.  Not much happened in the house today. Cathy is feeling weak, dizzy and faint.  I think she must be anemic.  I’m sending an email to the chemo nurse to find out what we need to do.

I am hoping for better weather and better spirits for tomorrow.

It’s been awhile since I posted something so I thought I’d give everyone an update.  Cathy remains at home, doing very well.  She’s Super Model Thin, though and that is a problem (never too rich or too thin, ha!).  I continue to give her feedings through her stomach tube, 3 times a day.  She is also still on an IV antibiotic for her throat infection and she is taking a bag of saline every other day to keep her hydrated and her sodium on an even keel.  Her vomiting has subsided for today.

Today we heard her stomach growl from hunger rather than diarhea!  Yea!  She sleeps a lot, almost all the time.  This is good and speeds her healing.  She’s slower today because the steroids she got on Tuesday with her chemotherapy has worn off.  This coming Tuesday is the BIG DAY for us because it will be her LAST chemotherapy treatment.  It can’t happen soon enough.

The skin on her neck is healing and is very itchy and tender.  Her coughing has diminished.  

It’s been such a long journey that we are almost afraid to feel hopeful.  We are both beginning to feel like she is heading toward the sunlight, out of the tunnel.

Keep your fingers crossed for us that she improves through the weekend and that Tuesday’s treatment doesn’t knock her back down, too hard.

Of course, the first winter weather advisory was issued for this morning, exactly the time I was scheduled to pick Cathy up at Johns Hopkins.  But nothing, not even evil snowy weather could keep us from completing our mission.  That drive down I-95 South towards Takoma Park would be by dogsled, if need be.

We got home around Noon.  Cathy practically levitated to get into the front door.  Charly and Lucy were beside themselves, showering her with licks, jumping into the air, barking excitedly and generally telling her how much they missed her.

Up to the living room and the couch.  Lots of fussing with blankets, coughing, exclamations of joy followed.  But, Hark!  What was that curious sound?  Could it be the ice cream truck coming to lure the neighborhood children out for one last treat?  Maybe Santa was making his way up Elson Place at Hillwood Manor as part of the stimulate the economy policy of the Obama administration.  No!  It was a group of happy friends and family who had gathered offsite to make the journey to our front yard to wish Cathy a welcome home in their own fashion:

Since they couldn’t be with us yesterday to help Cathy ring the bell at Hopkins, they decided to make their own bell ringing ceremony.  Cathy was bowled over.  She keeps talking about it over and over, telling me what good friends and family we have, and they are what makes doing all that grueling treatment worth it.

So, we are settling into our little nest again tonight with a fire in the fireplace, our dogs by our sides, the TV blaring and lots of warm thoughts in our hearts.

More tomorrow as I get the time……watch for our new bell ringers video!  Stay tuned for Beth in a nurse’s uniform (eat your heart out, Liz).

XO  

Tonight I am resting after spending most of the day on the phone or running up and down the stairs in the house, tidying up for Cathy’s arrival.

She is still in Johns Hopkins.  They have inserted a central line port into her so that she can receive IV antibiotics at home for 9 days.  They found an infection in her deep throat (only in Washington, eh?)

They have changed her feeding regimen to a new product, Glucerna.  Hopefully, the diabetes and subsequent insulin injections will handle it well and she will keep her sugar levels down.

I didn’t get to visit her today because I had to wait by the phone for the doctor, social worker and home health care manager to call.  In order for Cathy to be released, they need to deliver equipment, medications and train us how to use them properly.  No one seems to be available until Saturday.  There’s a chance that they might find someone outside of their contract network who could do the work on Friday.

Tomorrow is her last radiation treatment!!  We don’t know what time it will be, which is unfortunate.  Many of her colleague patients and my colleague family supporters want to be there when she finally gets her chance to ring the bell.  I promise to take many pictures and I will post them on the blog, no doubt there.  I wish you could all be with us, in person, as we celebrate this milestone in her journey.

The last thing to be done is a final chemotherapy treatment, either Monday or Tuesday. The effects of the radiation will still be with her so the chemo is given to help its effectiveness in killing those blasted cancer cells.

Rest well.  Thanks, as always, for the support with phone calls, cards, chore-doing, visits, emails, good thoughts, well wishes, knowing smiles, immeasurable love and general cheerleading.

Another step forward……….